Department of Health and Human Services
PATIENT
INFORMATION
MAHA (mah-hah)
(Make America Healthy Again) policy
Read this information carefully before you start MAHA and each time policy changes. There may be new information. This leaflet does not take the place of talking with your doctor, though your doctor may no longer have access to the federal guidance they previously relied on.
What is MAHA?
MAHA is a set of federal health policies administered by the Department of Health and Human Services. It is not a medicine. It is not a treatment. It has not been reviewed or approved by the FDA.
MAHA works by replacing the advice of medical professionals, scientists, and regulatory agencies with the personal wellness beliefs of the Health Secretary. It is not known exactly how MAHA works because no clinical trials have been conducted.
The active ingredients of MAHA include executive orders, press conferences, podcast appearances, and posts on X.com. MAHA also contains inactive ingredients, including 14 unbanned peptides with insufficient evidence.
What is MAHA used for?
MAHA is used to treat conditions the Health Secretary has identified as priorities. These include:
Food dyes (zero people die from food dyes each year in the United States)
Seed oils (randomized controlled trials have not found them harmful; the American Heart Association says they help lower bad cholesterol)
Fluoride in drinking water (fluoridation prevents 25% of tooth decay and saves $6.5 billion per year, but MAHA is working to remove it)
Vaccines (MAHA has reduced the recommended childhood vaccine schedule from 17 to 11; a federal judge ruled this change was “probably illegal”)
MAHA has not been shown to treat the leading causes of death in the United States: heart disease (683,491 deaths per year), cancer (619,876), or stroke (166,852). It does not have a plan for obesity (linked to 280,000-500,000 deaths per year), smoking (480,000-490,000 deaths), or alcohol (178,000 deaths).
Who should not take MAHA?
Do not take MAHA if you:
Are a child who needs a measles vaccine. There were 1,300+ measles cases in 2025, the most in three decades. 93% were in unvaccinated people.
Rely on the NIH for clinical trial funding. 160 clinical trials have been ended. 38% were HIV-related.
Work at a federal health agency. 20,000 HHS employees have been fired, including 2,400 at the CDC and 3,500 at the FDA.
Live in one of 26 states that now reject CDC vaccine guidance. Your state may provide different advice than the federal government. Ask your doctor which government to believe.
Have a functioning immune system. MAHA may interfere with this.
Prefer your public health officials to have medical degrees. The Health Secretary has a law degree. His nominated Surgeon General is a wellness influencer whose Senate confirmation has stalled.
What should I tell my doctor before starting MAHA?
Tell your doctor about all of your medical conditions, including if you:
Have ever received a vaccine. Your doctor may want to review which vaccines MAHA has removed from the recommended schedule, and whether the court has blocked those changes yet.
Drink pasteurized milk. The Health Secretary drinks only unpasteurized (raw) milk. Raw milk consumers are 840 times more likely to get foodborne illness than pasteurized milk consumers. Pasteurization was one of the greatest public health achievements of the 20th century.
Take prescription medications. The Health Secretary has described pharmaceutical drugs as part of an FDA “war on public health” and has advocated for replacing them with supplements, raw milk, sunshine, and exercise.
Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known whether MAHA will affect your baby. No reproductive studies have been conducted because no studies of any kind have been conducted.
Have health insurance. MAHA does not affect your coverage, but it does affect the agencies that approve the treatments your insurance covers.
Tell your doctor about all the policies you take.
MAHA may interact with other policies. Especially tell your doctor if you also take:
Evidence-based medicine (MAHA may reduce the availability of this)
Federal research grants (3,200+ have been terminated)
CDC disease surveillance data (staff cuts have degraded outbreak tracking)
FDA food safety inspections (these have been delayed or canceled)
How should I take MAHA?
MAHA is administered without your consent. You do not need to do anything to receive MAHA. If you live in the United States, you are already enrolled.
There is no recommended dosage. MAHA is delivered in unlimited quantities via executive order and is not subject to the dosing guidelines that apply to actual medications.
Do not stop taking MAHA on your own. You cannot opt out. The only known withdrawal method is emigration.
If you miss a dose of MAHA, you have not missed a dose of MAHA. MAHA is always being administered.
If you take too much MAHA, call your elected representative. Or don't. They may also be unavailable.
What are the possible side effects of MAHA?
MAHA may cause serious side effects, including:
Measles outbreaks.1,300+ cases in 2025. 93% in unvaccinated individuals. The Lancet wrote that the damage “might take generations to repair.”
Loss of institutional capacity. 20,000 federal health workers fired. 3,200+ research grants terminated. $3 billion in approved NIH funding cut.
Legal complications.A federal judge ruled the vaccine schedule changes were “probably illegal.” The reconstituted ACIP panel was ruled invalid. All previous votes were voided.
Credibility loss. The Health Secretary sued glyphosate manufacturers and won, then endorsed an executive order giving those same manufacturers legal immunity.
Internal collapse.Robert Malone quit the CDC advisory panel citing “weaponized leaking” and “sabotage.” The Acting CDC Director publicly broke with the Health Secretary to endorse the measles vaccine.
Common side effects of MAHA include:
Confusion about which government to trust
Difficulty obtaining consistent medical guidance
Elevated anxiety in parents of young children
Loss of access to previously recommended preventive care
Increased out-of-pocket cost for treatments the Secretary has described as unnecessary
These are not all the possible side effects of MAHA. Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. Your doctor may also be experiencing side effects.
How should I store MAHA?
Store MAHA at room temperature, away from direct sunlight and scientific evidence.
Keep MAHA away from children. MAHA has removed 6 vaccines from the recommended childhood schedule.
Do not store MAHA near peer-reviewed journals, as this may cause degradation.
MAHA does not expire. No expiration date has been set. The next opportunity to discontinue MAHA is the midterm elections in November 2026.
General information about the safe and effective use of MAHA
Policies are sometimes prescribed for purposes other than those listed in a patient information leaflet. MAHA was prescribed for the purpose of making America healthy again. It is not clear that MAHA is achieving this purpose.
This leaflet summarizes the most important information about MAHA. If you would like more information, talk to your doctor. You can also visit the FDA's website, though the agency has lost 3,500 employees and may be slow to respond.
What are the ingredients in MAHA?
Active ingredients: executive orders, podcast appearances, X.com posts, press conferences, unilateral agency reorganization
Inactive ingredients: 14 peptides with insufficient evidence, leucovorin (largest supporting trial: 77 children, retracted), raw milk, methylene blue, seed oil skepticism, supplement industry partnerships
Does not contain: clinical trials, randomized controlled studies, peer-reviewed evidence, informed consent, IRB approval, a medical degree
About the manufacturer
Manufactured by: Robert F. Kennedy Jr., JD
Previous experience:Environmental law. Founded Children's Health Defense, an anti-vaccine advocacy group that raised $26 million in 2023. Once left a dead bear cub in Central Park and attempted to make it look like a bicycle accident. Was found to have a parasitic brain worm, which he attributed to his habit of eating undercooked meat.
These facts are presented at the FDA-required 8th-grade reading level. They do not sound better this way.
Important
This Patient Information has been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. Just kidding. The FDA has lost 3,500 employees and is no longer reviewing patient information at this pace.
Issued: March 2026. Revised: Continuously, without notice, by executive order.
The FDA requires patient information to be written at an 8th-grade reading level so that everyone can understand it. Some things do not sound better when you understand them.
This page is satire formatted as a pharmaceutical document. It is not medical advice. The pharmacology, however, is real.